Couples Retreat

A Fury of the Film Fan Review

In a relationship many worry about compatibility, stability and appearances. Let me tell you guys this, your likes and dislikes will certainly change over the years, the market always fluctuates and your looks at some point or another will fade. I have been married 5 years now and there are three things I learned so far

 1) You never fully know a person until you live with them.

 2) Do NOT go to bed angry

 3) Never ever stop making the one you love laugh.

             #3 is sort of a Golden Rule to live by, an unofficial official key element to a successful marriage. There were times I have been literally seething at the mouth imagining the most painful Mixed Martial Arts move to inflict on my wife only to have it disappear in seconds when we look at each other and end up laughing. It’s at that moment we catch ourselves realizing our anger is many times the silliest emotion to dwell in. Yup, never underestimate the power of a good laugh.

      Couples Retreat is a comedy that aims to bring 4 typical couple conditions to the forefront and show how even the worst can ultimately recover and survive. Dave (Vince Vaughn) and Ronnie (Malin Akerman) are your typical couple with kids who have lost the passion in their marriage. Joey (Jon Favreau) and Lucky (Kristen Davis) play the couple whose physical attraction has veered off the marital bounds and simply cannot stand the sight of each other. Shane (Faizon Love) and Trudy (Kali Hawk) are a new couple with a significant age difference and maneuvering all of them to get away to a couples building getaway is their close friends Jason (Jason Bateman) and Cynthia (Kristen Bell) who are desperate to save their own relationship. The couples reluctantly agree to the getaway figuring the exercises are only minor distractions from a serious party. Hilarity ensues when they are subjected to more than just talking about feelings.

Are those pecs or moobs?

     Jon Favreau and Vince Vaughn were at their peak when they wrote  the cult classic Swingers but here they churn out a seriously flawed film that must have sounded better over a few beers at Applebee’s.  This film doesn’t know who it’s intended for. One moment we’re treated to a semi- mature moment and next we’re subjected to erection joke after erection joke.Is it for the mature crowd or the American Pie crowd? The actors do their best to bring these characters to life and most importantly bring these marriages to life but it’s never handled properly.For example, we never get to know much more about these characters than what they hate about each other and their current situations. The situations and conversations are forced and any time the movie slows down for its insightful moment ends up feeling like a PBS public service announcement.

  Part of the problem is the way the film is directed. Peter Billingsley might have had great hip shots with his red rider BB gun in a Christmas story but completely misses the mark with this film. Many times he prematurely edits a conversation just so the last sentence could be highlighted solely for the purpose of foreshadowing.  In a film about adults it’s insanely insulting to be spoon fed these scenarios.  Billingsley should have taken a cue from Tarantino and just let these people talk.

Not nearly as much fun as it looks

    Favreau and Vaughn try their hardest to squeeze out some laughs but the film is just not funny. It would have been great if this movie was a Dark Comedy. A rated R film that delves into the dark complexities attributed to marriages and showing couples living very troubled lives only to realize that a way to combat life’s shitty nature is to laugh it off. The final product is a heavily contrived repetitive mess that misses so much potential by treading softly on good solid material. This is one of those movies couples can rent together when they hang out with other couples. A fun filled evening which is guaranteed to incite a few remarks from people who might find a situation relatable on some level.  Just bring plenty of liquor to this party. Not even Jean Reno in a Speedo is enough to save this film.

          * ½

(mark of shame)